


It's Just Cherries on Top

by Sureshanks



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other, Pining, Porn With Plot, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 15:38:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15844299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sureshanks/pseuds/Sureshanks
Summary: Mystic Messenger spoilers ahead!Author's note: I don't condone real-life incest, but this is a fun writing exercise that pushes a lot of boundaries for me. If this isn't your cup of tea, feel free to pass this fic!Saeran Choi has been rescued from the clutches of a cult, but things will never be the same. His twin wishes that he could wave a magic wand and take all his pain away, but Saeyoung wrestles with his own twisted thoughts.Maybe they were destined to always be like this. Broken, but together.





	1. Wary

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! Please enjoy your stay!
> 
> This fic is set a few months after the SE, however there will be elements of AS throughout this as well in regards to Saeran's characterisation. 
> 
> This will be a lot of pining before the smut, but I'll sprinkle some tasty snippets around!
> 
> Tags may get added if I decide on certain elements, but I'll try to be mindful of big, troublesome topics such as self-harm.
> 
> Enjoy~

The only sound that echoed through the bunker was the rhythmical  _ clack clack _ of a mechanical keyboard, the keycaps being worried violently by their owner. A harsh glow burned into Saeyoung’s already tired and strained eyes, but this was all he had known for many of his adult years. Why change bad habits now? The tapping of his fingers was methodological, nothing more than a means to a grizzly end. It always ended poorly, but the receiving person was rarely him. 

A small comfort.

The sound of his clicks and clacks would be infiltrating his dreams when he finally crawled into bed at an ungodly hour, as if they weren’t already troubled enough. Many nights were punctuated with bittersweet emotions, leaving him waking up and groping the bed next to him for his missing brother. But he was no longer a child, and his bed remained as cold and empty as it had been since he had left Saeran for the agency.

But Saeran was back now, wasn’t he? Alas, the dreams were still no less painful to experience night after night. Even with his brother safely back under his care, the distance between them was an abyss of broken promises and sordid memories. A flicker of a memory, no, a  _ feeling _ touched his thoughts, one of holding his sobbing brother close into the small hours of the morning.

More small comforts.

So transfixed by his meditations, Saeyoung failed to notice his brother’s footfalls approaching him from behind. 

Saeran was silent as he watched the multiple monitors with curiosity. Thoughtfully chewing his stolen snack of cherry twisters, Saeran wondered how long it would take for his brother to notice him. Last time he had played this game, he had been mildly impressed that it had only been a few moments before Saeyoung’s keen senses picked up his presence. It had been like his twin knew where he was at all times, especially when he was upset. Saeyoung just had a way of materialising by his side to offer his company, even if Saeran tried his hardest to push him away.

However, Saeran was tired tonight. The brand of tired he felt was more mental than physical, as if his very marrow had been scooped out and replaced with water. Sleep never came easily, no matter how exhausted he was. When he finally wrestled his mind into the lull of slumber, the nightmares made short work of any rest he hoped to get. The only thing he was awarded for his efforts was a bed soaked with sweat and the face of a concerned Saeyoung looking over him. He hated having to rely on people like that. Being  _ weak _ .

Saeran wasn’t sure what had drawn him to seek out Saeyoung tonight, but he was glad he did. As Saeran sucked on his candy, he watched a few lines of errant code being injected into Saeyoung’s server. Frowning, he glanced at his brother, waiting for him to notice. Saeyoung seemed oblivious. 

He gave it a minute more before leaning over his brother’s shoulder and pointing with a long finger at the now hacked server. To his amusement, Saeyoung jumped in his chair, swinging his head around to stare at him with bleary golden eyes.

“Saeran! Fuck man, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one day if you keep doing that!” As Saeyoung spoke, he pouted at the sight of the last of his candy disappearing rather hurriedly into Saeran’s mouth. Last time this happened, Saeyoung had just taken his stolen goods back by force, which had thoroughly disgusted his twin.

_ If you don’t die of a heart-attack first from your poor diet, _ Saeran retorted in his head. Out-loud, however, he only grunted as he gestured to the screen again as he watched the server grow more unstable.

His brother pushed his large glasses into his bright red hair and scrubbed at his tired eyes. “Any ideas?” He asked Saeran, slumping in his chair and drawing a knee to his chest.

With the cherry twisters safely swallowed, Saeran leaned over his twin and began typing in the same rhythmic way as Saeyoung did. It still surprised him that even though they had spent so much time apart, they shared so many traits. Maybe they would always be connected, no matter how far away they were from each other? Saeran felt like that was the case – an invisible string that held them together despite any distance.

Saeyoung leaned back and watched his brother intently, mentally slapping himself as he saw the fixes Saeran was applying to the server. Within mere moments, the entire server was safely out of harm’s way. 

“Huh, you make it look easy.” Saeyoung exclaimed as Saeran straightened, noticing how his skinny twin looked rather pleased with himself. “Thank you. That almost makes up for you stealing my candy.”

Saeran shrugged, turning to head back to his room for another restless night, but was stopped in his tracks by a hand firmly snatching at his wrist. He looked down at the offending limb and then to its owner in turn. He wasn’t surprised, per se, as his brother always seemed to need some form of physical comfort. But the sudden contact made his stomach clench automatically, nothing more than a residual defence mechanism from days where a simple touch was a tool for future pain.

“Can’t sleep again?” Saeyoung asked as he looked up from his chair, still holding his brother back. The involuntary shudder Saeran had made hadn’t gone completely unnoticed. Saeyoung knew that it wasn’t personal, but the action still hurt like a punch in the gut.

Saeran only nodded in response. Sighing, Saeyoung replaced his glasses onto his nose and released his brother’s wrist. He should call it a night too, so it was as good as an excuse as any to get some sleep. He stood from his chair, stretching his stiff joints and yawning theatrically. He couldn’t help but smile as Saeran rolled his eyes at his over the top acting; it was the closest he’d get to a laugh from his reserved brother.

“Hey. How about a hug for your brother?” Saeyoung asked quietly. He knew his brother still hated being touched, but he was trying his best to undo the damage from the hands of Mint Eye one awkward cuddle at a time.

Saeran eyed his twin like a cornered animal, eventually sighing as he realised that his brother probably needed the hug more than him. He made a small nod, and before he knew it arms were being flung around his neck. Tensing immediately, Saeran didn’t know what to do. He stood there awkwardly, accepting the gesture.  _ What do I do with my arms _ ? But there was a tiny part of him that was comforted by the gesture. He closed his eyes and let himself relax a little, just as his therapist had been urging him to do for weeks now. It couldn’t hurt, could it?

Feeling his brother’s head fall on his shoulder made Saeyoung’s heart leap into his throat. He’d been working so hard to try and connect with Saeran, but most of the time it felt like he was trying to wrangle a feral cat. It wasn’t exactly the same as when they were children, but the hug felt more real than anything had in the past few months.

More than just a small comfort.

“Saeyoung… Are you crying?” Saeran asked softly, his voice hoarse. He suddenly realised he hadn’t spoken a word all day.

“No…” Saeyoung replied, his sniffle betraying him. “It’s just that-“

“I know.” Saeran cut his twin off, practically able to hear his thoughts. “And I’m sorry.”

The two stood there, quiet save for the occasional snuffle from Saeyoung as he tried to stem his overflowing emotions. 

“I’ve missed you... You’ve been so distant the past week that I thought… I thought I pissed you off...” Saeyoung finally managed, drawing his brother closer into his arms.

_ This feels… nice.  _ “I just haven’t had anything to say.” Saeran said truthfully. Maybe not the whole truth though.  _ I just didn’t want to make you sad. _

“Can… can you spend the night with me, Saeran? Just like we used to?”

Saeran stiffened in his brother’s arms.  _ Just like we used to? _ He didn’t think such a thing was possible anymore. They were completely different people to the children who once shared the same soul. But did they still? Saeran simply didn’t know.

“Ah, maybe that isn’t a great idea.” Saeran knew his words would sting, but he just wasn’t ready for something like that yet. Maybe not ever.

Saeyoung pulled away, his glasses still foggy from his tears. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry…” He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly at a loss for words. “I’ll ah… I’ll get going.”

Saeran helplessly watched his twin shuffle to his bedroom, unable to muster the words to fix the wound he had just caused.  _ Just like always.  _ He looked down at his hands, mirror images of his brother’s. He could only seem to hurt people these days. Maybe it was all he was good for.

With a heavy heart, Saeran made his way to his room and flopped down on the bed, praying for sleep to come to him swiftly. His heart ached.

Unfortunately, nightmares were the only thing Saeran was awarded with for his troubles.

So much for small comforts.


	2. Wolfsbane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sprinkle of smut for you saucy lads~

 

Saeran was miserable. Not that this was particularly unusual for him, but a storm of dreams had left shipwrecks of emotions along the jagged coast of his mind.

His night had been filled with nightmares, which he was all but used to by now. Haunting images of blood on his hands, pain in his head, screams that he couldn’t distinguish between his own and someone else's... But there had been something worse than the nightmare. 

A dream. A pleasant one.

He remembered warm, strong arms around him, protecting him. Keeping him safe from the horrors of the outside world. No more pain, no more yelling, or crying. Just warm, loving arms. He vividly remembered wishing that he’d never have to wake up again and just stay in that embrace forever.

He could have lived with that dream if it had stopped there, but it hadn’t. He couldn’t shake the echo of touches that had followed as he’d laid in those arms. Soft lips pressed hungrily against his, hands roaming over his bare skin. Tongues against teeth, warm and messy, tasting sweetness that was completely intoxicating. Biting into a shoulder to stifle his moans as hands explored him further, Saeran had only wanted more and more. He’d wanted to be completely consumed by that blissful feeling that sparked across his brain.

Hot and sweaty, Saeran had woken up finding himself rutting up against a pillow, his silken boxers sticky and wet.

Thankfully not running into his twin in the early hours of the morning, a shameful walk down the hallway was rewarded by an icy cold shower. As he scrubbed the dirty feeling off of his skin, he hoped the unbearably cold shower would quash the vivid imagery running at breakneck speed through his mind. Saeran didn’t like the idea of being intimate, but it seemed his subconsciousness had other ideas. 

It had just been so… vulnerable. 

And he liked it.

Throughout the day, he’d tried to distract himself with mindless chores, but that had given him too much room to think. After doing all the dishes, scrubbing the kitchen, putting a load of laundry in the washer, he still couldn’t shake the dream. In defeat, he plopped down onto the couch and sighed. He was still miserable.

_ Maybe a video game?  _ He wondered, casting his gaze to the exorbitantly-sized television. Saeyoung had limited his access to computers, which was for the best, but he was still free to do as he pleased with the other electronics in the house.

He pulled out one of Saeyoung’s many game consoles and booted it up, his hands unfamiliar on a controller. How Saeyoung had time for any of this between all of his work was beyond him, he thought as he scrolled through the massive library of games.

Suspending disbelief wasn’t something Saeran was good at these days, so trying to immerse himself in one of the weird games Saeyoung rambled on about wasn’t going to work. He settled with what he thought was an innocent farming game, but soon found himself absorbed in the constant micromanagement. Before long, Saeran had a thriving farm full of fruits, vegetables, and animals. It was soothing, being distracted from his turmolous thoughts. He could get used to this.

“I saw you as more of a Dark Souls guy to be honest.”

Saeran was so focused on harvesting his crops that Saeyoung’s voice completely startled him. Out of sheer panic, he dropped the controller onto the floor. He winced at the resulting loud  _ crack _ .

“Shit…” Saeran breathed as he tried to steady his breaths, his heart racing. He reached for the controller with shaky hands, inspecting it for any damage. Luckily, it seemed unscathed. 

He wasn’t though.

Saeyoung lounged his upper-half over the top of the couch as he inspected Saeran in the same way Saeran himself had looked at the dropped controller. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you! You usually hear me from a mile away. Are you... feeling alright?” He saw the way Saeran’s hands shook and was immediately flooded with concern.

Saeran scowled at his brother for a moment before softening his expression. It wasn’t his fault, but Saeran felt on edge after being caught unaware. “It’s fine.” He said flatly, turning off the game suddenly and springing to his feet. “I’ll be going now.”

Saeyoung’s eyes grew wide in alarm. “Saeran, you didn’t even save! You must have spent hours on that farm!” He exclaimed in shock.

Saeran only shrugged, already turning his back on his brother as he made his way to the sanctuary of his room. His head hurt, his heart painfully drummed against his chest, and he was in no mood to talk. He was miserable again.

Balling his hands into fists in frustration, Saeyoung let himself tense and flex the digits a few times in an attempt to calm himself down before he trotted after his brother. “Saeran! Hey!” He called out, wishing he could time travel back to a few moments earlier.

Saeran ignored him, walking into his room and closing the door before his brother could stop him. He wasn’t sure exactly what had set him off, but he couldn’t bear talking right now. Instead, he slid down the door heavily and leaned back against it, hugging his knees to his chest.

Saeyoung watched the door close on him and imagined that this is how people felt when they watched the last piece of snow cover them in an avalanche. He’d seen his brother there on the couch playing games and his heart had jumped for joy, thinking he might have a chance to bond with his brother.

But he’d screwed things up again, hadn’t he?

Saeyoung sighed, easing himself onto his knees and leaning his back against the door. “Hey Saeran-ah… I’m so sorry... I just wanted to see how you were, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said quietly, praying that Saeran could hear him. He just couldn’t muster up the voice to call out any louder. Maybe it was for the best though; Saeran hated loud things anyway.

Saeran lifted his head a little as he heard his brother lean against the door on the other side, speaking in that soft tone he remembered from when he was little. That voice had soothed him many a night after their mother had yelled and screamed and beaten… He shuddered, realising that he was probably reacting like this because of that foul woman. The acrid feeling of hate welled up in between the sadness in his heart as he listened.

Saeyoung thought he had heard shifting behind the door, so he continued. It would be therapeutic anyway, getting these thoughts off of his chest. “Saeran, I know I have a lot to undo… but I want you to know that I’ll do anything for you. Tell me to jump off a bridge, tell me to eat red-hot chillies until I can’t talk anymore; I’ll do anything you ask me to. Anything.” He paused, realising he had listed some rather grim options. “I’ll always be here for you. You’re the other half to my soul.”

Saeran felt something wet roll down his cheek and realised he was crying. It only made him mad as he sat, looking at the tears he’d wiped away on his fingertips. He couldn’t control even such a basic emotion any more.  _ Really Saeyoung? _ He thought bitterly. _ You’d do anything? There’s always a line that even the most devoted won’t cross. I wonder what yours is... _

For some reason, last night’s dream popped back into his thoughts, causing his stomach to churn.  _ Disgusting… You really are beyond help, thinking about your own brother like that... _

Saeyoung pressed his head against the wood as he tried to stop himself from pouring his heart out there and then, ignorant to the turmoil in Saeran’s mind. “Saeran, I don’t want to smother you, so... I’m going to head out and grab something to eat and give you some time to yourself, okay? If you need to talk, I’ll listen to anything you say. Oh, I’ll get you your favourite too and just leave it by the door.”

Saeran wouldn’t allow himself to corrupt his brother with the sickness that flowed through his blood. It probably had been there the whole time, only blossoming like a poisonous flower under Rika’s careful ‘care’. Maybe that’s why his mother had hated him so much. She had seen the toxicity bubbling away under his skin.

_So why didn’t Saeyoung see it?_ _Maybe… maybe he’s sparing my feelings. Deep down inside, he knows there’s something wrong with me. He just pities me._

Saeran quietly sobbed into his hands as he heard his brother leave, wishing that he could free his brother from this life. He wished he could just disappear, that way Saeyoung wouldn’t have to cater to someone who wouldn’t ever get better.

Luckily for Saeran, misery loves company.


End file.
